HolistiCinintya

First of all wanna say Hi to everybody here, Hi all, I’m so sorry I know I don’t have many readers here since this is just a blog to express my feeling and perspective about the world and about something that disturb my heart so much, Okay 1, 2 , 3 I start my new story in my new age, 21, yess this age is cool enough to try some “cool” adult stuff   such clubbing, alchohol, drug and even sex maybe But I’m not gonna try too far yet, just went to club a lot these days, First You have to know that I “was” just innocent and didn’t open-minded enough with kind this stuff really cz I know my potential being so naughty and better I don’t know than I will be so addict with this evil life, also afraid being lost control about it, soo many insecurity in my logical system Someday my cousin asked me to go that heavenly hell and said I would be alright since I’m with her and her friends who will guard us,finally I dare to try and promised to be conscious buddy there (lol) The hell im s

Many things just disturbing my heart these days, Many thing happened too, This is just because of my bad experience, Well I’ll tell you some stories. One day I had a date with a young boy, he’s so cute and attractive, and I go with him because his personalities so fit on me and interesting for me, ok he’s good looking too but this isn’t important, at first all of thing just so sweet and just the way I want, but after 2 weeks I just know the motive why is he try to get with me, cause one thing! Sex Ya, Boys love Sex so much, I don’t know, maybe this is Normal cz God make a boy love this stuff so much but it’s so disturbing my heart, From the statement that I ask to some boys or men in one big chatting app, I have some various   answer, It’s interesting I make some illustration for them : I have a friend and X, They are western boys, they told me that if they just looking for a girl   to have a sex, not for love. They said that love is   hard, why? Why are they afraid   to f

I am not someone that easly fallin’ in love but one day I brave my self to deal with that stuff because of one boy that so clever influence all my mind and my heart, He’s such so clever, sensitive and passionate, He also love singing, dancing and reading same like me, He’s younger than me and such a sweet boy, for the first time I don’t interest with him but because all of those things, He attract me much I think I found my partner, my half part of me ,but I was wrong, too fast to make a conclusion about this, actually I’m stupid, I know he’s still young and never serious about kind of relationship, And it’s true, He just playing with me. I don’t blame him, the fault is in me. I open my heart easly without thinking and impatient. A good things come with process, but this is too instant and the result is bad for us But even if that is a bad thing, I still miss him that much, singing him, dancing him, reading him, sensitive and caring him, yaa I’m falling in love with